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issue 08/15/2000

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Novel:
vCity 1.0
by Dr. Adam L. Gruen

20 days in the life of a 21st century virtual city simulation.

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Mondays Are Hell: A (Mostly) True Internet Adventure
[page 4 of 7]

The job was getting out of hand, so we settled on a strategy. Clients like that word.

I'd get the search function working on the current site, streamline the order processing so even an AOL customer could use it, then mirror the whole shebang on a new server down the coast. When the mirror was beta'd, we'd redirect the NIC at 6 a.m. when even the sys ads were sleeping. Or better yet, on a Thursday afternoon at 4 p.m., when the sys ads were still being harassed by ticked-off customers. With that timing, most North American servers would be re-resolved to the new IP address by Monday.

I was worried a sys ad would notice the new file dates. Fred offered to change the server's time clock while I uploaded. Thanks, but no thanks. Hostage rescue is about saving the hostages. Designers we take care of later, if you know what I mean.

I tiptoed in and tweaked the search functions and order processing. You can pretty well figure that a designer who puts the database field delimiters in the wrong place is not coming back to check his work.

The gag-me-Elmo graphic design I left alone. Hell hath no fury like a designer whose images have been deleted. But the spelling mistakes had to go. Graphics boyos don't read text, so it's always safe to correct the mistakes they put in images. I poked through the back room and came up with a dusty dictionary. You could hear my 8th grade English teacher Miss Peabody cackling in her grave. Revenge is sweet, I guess.

That was about as far as I could take this rusty bucket. With the search functions working orders were trickling in. At least they'd be able to pay my bill....

   

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